A Life Deferred

"What happens to a dream deferred?" - Langston Hughes

I studied Langston Hughes in college, and this poem has always remained in the back of my mind. It's a question I ask myself everyday in some form when I go to work; so many lives put on hold by lack of opportunity, limited skill sets, and poor choices. Stepping back and seeing the enormity of the challenge for what it is can be intimidating. It seems almost futile at times, and then there are times when you feel you've made a difference. This week has been hard...

A young man who turns twenty today sits in Riker's Island prison accused of murder. This is a young man I have known since the age of seven. Is he a killer? No. Is he guilty? Probably. Is he stupid? Yes...that is my "non-P.C." way of spitting out my frustration with the fact that he is functionally illiterate and has made a string of very bad choices. When his parents came to the United States from the Dominican Republic, I doubt their vision of the American Dream was incarceration for their youngest child. This is more than a dream deferred, this young man has become a statistic; another life deferred.

The plus side to his downfall is the fact that other "borderline" youth have taken some of our programs at Inwood Community Services, Inc. a little more seriously. My colleagues and I are swimming in a rip current trying to follow a diagonal track toward shore. I'm a firm believer in planting seeds and hoping for the best, but this one hurts. As a parent, I can identify with a parent's hope that your children will turn out okay. This is different. I've worked with literally hundreds of youth, but no turn for the worst has ever blindsided me or touched me as deeply as this. Why? We held him under our wing for a few years...very closely as a matter of fact, but then our project "lost funding" and many of our initiatives and participants scattered.

Damn...

He could have been saved. There are many we can't, and many we won't. I know he could have been, and that hurts...